9 days in, 81 & a lifetime to go

"A Mother's Gift" Artist: Caroline Papa

If you've been wondering where I've been--life has been hectic and the blog took a back seat to be able to prioritize some different things the Lord was calling me to.

If you've been wondering where I've been the last week: I have been THRIVING.

I've been off the social media grid for a week now as part of a promise I made to the Lord on a self-retreat journey I've embarked on with 30+ women in my community called FIAT90.

This week has been so challenging in ways I did not expect but also so fruitful in other ways I totally did not see coming. The general idea of FIAT90 is to embark upon a 90-day self-retreat, promising to do things for your body, mind and spirit.

So what's the point?

Say it with me:

To

Build

VIRTUE.

That sounds great right? Improving your body, mind and spirit all at the same time with other women to hold you accountable and encourage you? AMEN IT IS.

Is it going to be so worth it at the end of the 90 days? HELL YEAH IT WIL BE.

Is it hard as heck sometimes? YOU BET IT IS.

So, I'm sure some of you are wondering to yourselves...Michaelyn...why did you start a 3- month process that you knew was going to be hard.

Well, my dear sisters and brothers, I don't think anything worthwhile comes easy. It takes prayer, perseverance, patience, a stockpile of desires and relinquishing the grasp on our thoughts so the Lord can turn them into realized dreams wildly beyond our own capacities.

Michaelyn...it's three months...

Yeah, I know. I had my initial reservations once I read that you could only watch one episode or movie a week and when you do it should be with 2 or 3 other people, or when I read that there are no added things to drinks...and ya girl loves vanilla coffee creamer in her daily coffee. But I think its most important to not look at this list of things I am undertaking as a list of rigid rules that are stifling my freedom.

The absolute opposite is happening in my life and I feel quite possibly the freest I have ever been in my life.

As a friend of mine, Michael Stewart, reminded me yesterday, the Lord's journey was not easy. The road to Calvary for our Lord was a 30+ year journey. People didn't get Him. People mocked Him. Followers that He had poured into and cultivated relationships with heard some "hard sayings" and teachings and they left Him. They walked away from Him and out of His life. He dealt with mockery, unbelief, questioning and was subject to physical and mental abuse in His fully human nature during His Passion from other souls who did not get Him.

But he persevered. And so will I.

I have a strong belief that although the agony in the garden, the scourging, the crowning of thorns, the walk to Calvary and His crucifixion and death all happened within a short period of time in the grand scheme of things, that the Lord loves each of us so much that if it would have taken 900 years of torture to grant each and every one of us salvation and the saving grace from the blood of His most Sacred Heart: He would do so in a heartbeat, without hesitation.

For

Our

Lord

Is

So

Good.

If I can even dip my toe into the smallest millisecond of suffering the Lord endured to unite my heart with His, this whole process will have been worth it.

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One of my goals throughout FIAT90 is to update weekly how it's going with me, with the community, and what the Lord is teaching us through this tremendous 'yes'.

Each week I will hope to share some graces of the week and some ways the Lord is shedding light into my poverty.

This week daily mass was such an incredible grace. Getting to start my day almost each day this week with the Lord's Sacred Body and Most Precious Blood as the first things on my tongue has truly transformed how my mornings and the rest of my days have gone.

Prioritizing when I was going to work out 6 days out of the week to make sure that I fed myself 3 good and nutritious meals a day (minus the Wednesday and Friday fast), since there is no snacking, made me feed my body good food three times a day to truly nourish my body.

One of the biggest graces that hit me this week became evident while I was reading one of Bishop Robert Barron's Daily Gospel Reflections. In his reflection this line just really stuck out to me and what this retreat is going to take in order for me and my fellow warriors (the men doing EXODUS90 and the women doing FIAT90) to see it through to completion:

"Be patient and embrace the small invitations."

We have so many small things to keep track of each day, but we are urged by the Lord not think of them as this mondo list of mega meticulous things we HAVE to do, but rather this list of invitations that we GET to participate in WITH the Lord to help pave our way to sanctification.

The Lord wants to involve us in our path to righteousness and sainthood--we pray for graces each and every day to accept these invitations and to keep persevering in this portion of our mission, steadfast striving to reach our heavenly home!

The week has been so good. So fruitful. He is truly asking me to come out of myself for the greater glory of the Kingdom.

The first week has also paved the way for the grace for some women to prayerfully discern out of continuing the program. I think this is the biggest grace I've encountered this week. To watch these women be able to step out of their pride to know what the Lord is calling them to in this season of their mission.

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Something that is so great about FIAT90 is that even if you don't implore all of the items on the lists, there is something the Lord desires to do in each of our hearts through at least one of the things on the list!

"The glory of God is man fully alive." St. Irenaeus

A fantastic woman friend of mine, Frances Thompson, realized the Lord was not calling her to this full list of vows but He was trying to draw her nearer to His heart by a few of these tasks. She has been implementing the Heroic Minute into her daily routine, which is getting up and out of the bed the very first time your alarm goes off, which let's be real: is mega hard. I think I failed at this the first three days of this journey because the snooze button and the comfort of our beds is REAL. FIAT90 encourages the heroic minute as a use to sacrifice that and offer our very first deed of the day as a sacrifice for the Lord and His Kingdom.

Frances shared with me insight into her choice to choose not to use her phone as an inhibitor to take her away from community and the present moment, to allow her to come fully alive in the present. She put a myriad of locks and restraints on her phone involving apps like social media, which she said is calling her to "be present to people and moments in which I would otherwise be eyes down, disengaged." Wow. Praise God for the grace to realize where our weaknesses are so that in that awareness, we can turn our eyes to the Lord and ask for help.

Many would probably agree with me that Frances is a superwoman of sorts. She's an elementary school teacher and pours everything she has into cultivating holy little saints each and every day, even spilling into her classroom decorations where she has a prayer intention station in the corner of her room. She also coaches volleyball, frequently comes to Christ the King for prayer and to formation nights to keep learning, constantly is looking for opportunities to better herself in athletics, in spirit and with others. And in all of her spare time, she has decided to choose parts of FIAT90 so that she can be challenged with a choice to use her body, mind and spirit for the good and greater glory of our Lord.

Finally, Frances shared with me that she is, "expecting big graces from putting two feet on the ground each morning instead of two fingers on the snooze button...and I know He'll reveal those to me...one alarm at a time." The Lord desires us to show up and give what we have just like the poor widow's contribution in chapter 12 of Mark's gospel. Even if all we have is two copper coins, it means the world to the Lord because we have given from our poverty, we are giving all we have to give: our whole livelihood.

Bottom line is: the Lord is working miracles in our hearts ya'll. And it is stunning to see.

I am praying for you all through our 54-day Rosary Novena we began this week. Please offer your prayers up for all of these gnarly men and women who have offered the next 81 days as a sacrifice for the Lord to work His goodness into our hearts and transform our lives from simply living: to thriving.

Our Lady of Guadalupe, please pray for us!

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If you would like to read more about FIAT90, click here for the slamming PDF on how to complete this journey!

If you want more information on how to pray a 54-day Novena with the rosary, check out this rad PDF a friend of mine, Maggie Hoover, made!

Artwork by: Caroline Papa

This woman has such a gift with a paintbrush.

I love this image of Our Lady of Guadalupe, and the incredible, unique gift of Caroline's heart. Thank you for sharing your gift and your heart with me, Carol.

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