I'm reminded this week of the notion that if we are bogged down with sin, shame, indifference and spiritual dryness, that the Lord provides in abundance a double portion of grace to cover, and dissolve, those imperfections so that we may more clearly see our awaiting restoration.
Week 3 of FIAT down and I found myself asking the Lord, 'Are you really moving? Am I doing this wrong to not feel you answering my prayers through this petition portion of this 54-Day Rosary Novena? What is holding me back from recognizing your grace, Lord?"
I can see the goofy smile on the Lord's face as He lays back in His Lazy-Boy Paw-Paw Recliner with all the holy men and women in heaven as He says smiling, "Just you wait, my Beloved. I am moving. You will see. Just be patient, have expectant faith and do not quit searching for and seeking out joy."
An unforeseen grace that is becoming so evident, especially this week, but something I'd hope would happen, is how constantly I want to run to the Lord for everything. Even if I don't feel like He is answering my prayers in a 'timely fashion.'
Many of you probably chuckled at this because you know if you've prayed for something within the realm of a human time frame...the Lord has His own Perfect Timing that far surpasses the confines of human reality: and that's a glorious thing.
Through my prayer, pleading with the Lord to show Himself moving in my life, three movement-related topics sprung up almost immediately--what a prophetic number.
1. Love is Moving by Audrey Assad was instantly on repeat in my head.
2. As I read The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, Mr. Beaver tells the children, "Aslan is on the move."
3. The communion antiphon one day during daily mass was from Matthew 25:6, "Behold, the Bridegroom is coming; come out to meet Christ the Lord."
If you read closely, you'll see three separate and uniquely distinct names for our Lord through these three encounters:
1. Love 2. Aslan
3. Bridegroom
Firstly, Love. Jesus is Divine Love, the Perfect Love Who casts out all fear.
Secondly, Aslan. This is the name of the lion savior in C.S. Lewis' Narnia. Aslan is Turkish for Lion, which we know points to Jesus who is both the Lion and the Lamb. Lastly, Bridegroom. Our Lord Jesus is the Bridegroom Who pursues us as His bride, regardless if we are male or female.
The Lord was showing me His movement through three separate mediums: music, a popular book, and scripture at the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.
He is constantly moving.
And this is the remedy for my seemingly stagnant prayer offerings and intentions. Continually offering my daily rosary up for same intention, begging for restoration, for healing, for life to be breathed into my suffering and earthly ailments.
But the Lord as the Divine Physician is like the OG physical therapist, continually prodding me to move to His Presence in the Eucharist in Adoration and Daily Mass so that I then may be still, and feel the movement of the mighty wind of His Holy Spirit.
This is the remedy that will cure my aching heart.
This is the remedy that will console my soul filled with desires.
This is the remedy that will transform my prayer requests I seem to come rattling off each time I sit down to intercede with the Lord.
This is the remedy that will restore me.
This theme of a healing remedy has been persistent as I continually pray for healing, for peace, and for joy. This theme has a simple prescription that the Lord has been singing over me for quite some time now:
SURRENDER.
A friend of mine and Wonder Woman image of grace, so strong yet so gentle, Lisa Goodgion has had the same theme infused into her heart by Our Gracious Lord. She beautifully has recounted how the Lord, through small, still whispers has invited her time and time again on her journey to surrender herself to Him, in all aspects. She has begun to, "Surrender my day, my ups, my downs, my trials, my desires, my love; surrender it all to Him, and He will transform it into what it's meant to be."
This remedy of active surrendering has a direct correlation to the Lord's transformative and redemptive power to tranquilize the hurt and pour the saving power of His Precious Blood onto our very wounds as we surrender more and more fully so He may draw us closer in union in His most Sacred Heart.
Every Tuesday morning at 7:00AM, a group of women--students and lay people alike--come together for a weekly holy hour. Each week it is invigorating to hear different devotionals or prayers the Lord and Sprit prompt different women to share throughout our time spent in Adoration. Lisa shared this prayer from St. Teresa of Avila this week and it truly speaks to the Lord's power of being the source of all Mercy and how He pursues each one of us as His Bride.
I invite you to pause, make the sign of the cross, and pray these following words:
O my God! Source of all mercy! I acknowledge Your sovereign power. While recalling the wasted years that are past, I believe that You, Lord, can in an instant turn this loss to gain. Miserable as I am, yet I firmly believe that You can do all things. Please restore to me the time lost, giving me Your grace, both now and in the future, that I may appear before You in "wedding garments."
Amen.
Lisa shared beautiful words of hope regarding this prayer stating that it was, "...a great reminder that those times I wasn't with Christ [as someone who has fallen away from my faith in the past] aren't lost because He was always with me." She challenged the women in front of the Eucharist to surrender all of that 'lost time' to the Lord and ask Him to reveal to us the times He was with us even when we were unaware, allowing those times to be a constant reminder of His presence with us and in us. What a beautiful remedy for the healing and restoration of our hearts for the Lord to reveal to us a constant timeline of His presences, one where there is never a lacking of attendance.
The Lord has perfect attendance in the room of our hearts, but He waits as a gentleman to pursue us deeper. He prompts us to receive, and He consistently gives, but He waits for our 'yes' to fill the room of our hearts with perfectly portioned packages of grace in wrapping paper so vibrant, only our souls can truly know the colors they possess on this side of Heaven.
For Lisa, FIAT was not her remedy for healing in this season of her journey. Personally, something I struggle with is committing to things and not wanting to quit, even in the wake-zone of stress, for fear of being labeled a 'quitter' by my hardest critic: myself.
Lisa experienced something similar and felt the Lord prompting her to a simpler calling to be drawn closer to His heart. Graces have poured out for her, even in the short duration of her time with the full list of FIAT promises. She has found open time in some of her days to encounter the Eucharist in daily Mass and has been persevering with the profound task of the Heroic Minute (getting up daily at the fist alarm and beginning your day with a sacrifice of snoozing or lounging for the Lord and the betterment of His Kingdom) even after she discerned out of the full length 90-day retreat.
She is making a lifetime commitment to surrender.
A reason I keep growing in love for FIAT is because of how close I feel I am uniting my heart with that of our Heavenly Mother, Mary. Lisa shared in times of unknown circumstances and a void of her earthly mother that would come as a result of studying abroad, Mary shared with her these beautiful words:
“I’m right here. I’m here always. Especially when your earthly mother can’t be there to hold you, your heavenly mother will be.”
What Lisa is teaching me is how to rely on the Lord, even when it's hard to trust. I asked Lisa what the biggest grace in her life is right now and she said the Lord's Peace. Which is so prophetic because I have been praying for peace in our 54-Day Rosary Novena. Lisa is encountering and experiencing the Peace of Christ on a daily basis, rendering the stressful situations in her life that would have previously caused her unrest, to fade into the hands of our Lord as she continually surrenders each stress, worry and situation fighting to overwhelm her spirit.
The Lord has given her a remedy to combat these anxieties and worries in her time of prayer and surrender with Him as He equips her with strength to fight her battles, not alone, but with Him at her side, garnering peace along the way as she shuts down invitations to fear or worry about the future because she is covered with the grace and peace of our Almighty Father.
Each day that passes I am becoming more aware and attuned to the Lord's presence in my life. This week I pray for a deeper recognition and understanding of the Lord's delight in me as His Beloved and a stronger grasp on the joys of my heart when it is intertwined with His.
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